Stories of Wisdom & of The Heart

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth the trouble retrieving the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked in the well and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Suddenly his wife announced the terrible news that she wanted to leave him for another man. This blow was so difficult that Jerome thought of ending his life. There was nothing left to live for as far as he was concerned. What had he done wrong? Where did he go wrong? What was happening to him? He had no answers but many questions. Within the space of a few months he lost all desire to live. He abandoned his career, moved into a neighbouring town (so as not to see his wife with that other man), and generally became a passive individual without any trace of interest in anything whatsoever.

Tom and Jerome spent much time together but they didn't talk much. Jerome simply needed companionship and someone to share thoughts and feelings with. Tom knew he couldn't do anything for his brother because this was a personal inner crisis that belonged to his brother alone. The best Tom could do was to remind Jerome to be patient and live day by day, allowing the sun to rise and to set. Things would change in time, he said. Tom also knew he could not appropriate his brother's ordeal.

It took Jerome four years to overcome his depression and to understand the meaninglessness that had so suddenly overwhelmed him. After this time, needless to say, Jerome was no longer the same man. He was a better man! The ordeal had completely changed him into another person. So much so that none of his old friends and acquaintences could relate to him when once he returned to the town where he had established his "previous" life.

After about two years of coming down on himself and not quite understanding what was happening to his life, Jerome suddenly had an experience. While walking home one sunny day he suddenly heard a voice within which said, "resignation!" As he walked along he heard the voice again: "resignation!" He did not understand what the word meant. At home he took out a dictionary and looked up the meaning:

When Tom met Jerome later on the morrow, Jerome wanted to talk about "resignation". Jerome admitted not understanding the implications of "resignation", and so, too, did Tom. Both brothers committed to spend the week thinking about the word and how it applied to Jerome's situation.

In thinking of his own divorce years earlier, Tom was reminded that he had to GIVE UP a lot and learn how to be submissive. He had to give up what Jungian psychologists call the "persona" -- what one thinks he is or the image one holds of one's self -- and submit to the human reality that change often is very painful, especially when we are ATTACHED to something that must perish anyway (such as a relationship, for example).

In the consultation between brothers it came out that the one thing Jerome feared most was change! He thought he knew who he was, what he wanted, how he would get whatever he wanted. He had a sort of roadmap of his life and great goals he wanted to achieve. But everything fell through when his wife left him. The pain, chagrin and sorrow he experienced after his divorce was beyond endurance and he didn't think he'd live through it. He felt rejected, unloved, unwanted.

Time passed and "resignation" and "surrender" were gradually forgotten. But about 8 months later the brothers decided to look back at RESIGNATION again. Jerome said he had understood that by SURRENDER was meant that he had to give up all his acquired habits and ways of thinking, and to elevate his life's purpose above and beyond the physical plane. He said he had come to the realization that this life was, in fact, a temperal existence and that one day he would pass away, die, and what purpose was there in becoming the CEO of company Z with a handsome salary if all of it couldn't be taken with him when he died? Likewise, of what use becoming attached to emotions when you know that these could only be temporary (emotions certainly aren't eternal!)?

Tom thought the "act or instance of resigning something" really meant to stop trying to control life and others and to just resign himself to the way things are, the way they work, and to attempt respecting others and events as they really were. If things don't go the way you want them to, he reasoned, if they don't work out the way you had planned, well, so be it. Accept it and resign yourself to it.

Jerome was in a situation forced upon him. He had no control over his wife leaving him. The key to understanding lay in simply resigning himself to the fact, in accepting the reality and not trying to change it. There was wisdom in the situation and sooner or later he would discover what that wisdom was.

To be SUBMISSIVE means to work doubly hard at improving the character, to let go of pretentiousness, affectation, arrogance, lies, and to simply face the truth of who and what you are and accepting it. In other words, to submit to the reality of who and what you really are today and working on improving the things you can improve, and letting go of the things that simply cannot be improved or changed.

The problem is, however, that we do not have a clear-cut idea of who we, as individuals, truly are or what we ought to be. Are we a mass of skin and bones? Are we the psychological mass of accumulated behavior learned throughout our upbringing? These are upsetting but profound questions which DO HAVE ANSWERS.

One answer to the question of who we are is this: we humans are physically made up of skin and bones, yes, but we are "humans" distinct from the animal; we have something more than the animal! And that thing is the capacity to acquire virtues or moral qualities. The animal, the vegetable, the mineral, do not have this capacity. So, yes, we are creatures with an animal nature, but we are also much higher than the creature in that we alone, of all created things, can develop virtues and polish our being to the degree where it becomes like a brilliant mirror reflecting goodness, compassion, understanding, tolerance, patience, and all virtues. Animals cannot develop virtues -- if they did, they would have developed their own civilizations!

The pain comes, though, when we realize how difficult it really is to develop any one of the virtues potentially lieing dormant within us! To improve anything means there will have to be change. The process of CHANGE within the human character means there must be pain because we have to give up something to which we were attached for a long time. That is, the process of DETACHMENT from old and outworn habits of behaving and thinking is a painful process, and this process is called CHANGE.

We have all heard the cliche, "change is inevitable." But we rarely hear the truth about such inevitability, which is: along with change comes inevitable pain, and if it weren't for that pain there would be no change! Change is growth only when there is pain, and when there is no pain that change is not beneficial but detrimental. For example, a seed is planted and changes into a shoot, and gradually into a mighty tree. This change is termed "growth" but before such "growth" could have occurred the seed had to give up (SURRENDER) something through the process of pain. In fact, the seed died in order to give birth to the shoot. We can say that the seed "sacrificed" its condition to give life to its true self.

Being human is a process which entails the effort of planting the seed of virtue within our character, within our heart, and allowing it to germinate and to grow into a mighty stem. We must die to ourselves and be born again, as Christ adviced. But to do so requires that we give up our old habits and exert great efforts by accepting the pain that comes with such change.

It was stated earlier that change is growth only when there is pain, and when there is no pain that change is not beneficial but detrimental. So, for example, the mighty tree that arose from the seed will eventually have to perish; it will either be cut down or be felled by natural causes like wind and rain. The process of falling and rotting is, of course, change. But what a difference between a tree that is rotting and one that is growing! The rotting tree is changing as it disintegrates but it need not make any effort since all effort is made by external agents acting upon it. The growing tree, on the other hand, MUST make efforts originating in itself. Nature teaches us that anything that grows does so through effort; and anything that dies or decays does so without effort. It is a law of nature that once a certain point of upward growth has been achieved, there must needs be a downward motion toward decay. This is evident in the human body that grows from childhood to adulthood and at a certain age the body begins its decline and finally must perish. But it is not so with the human capacity to acquire virtues. The acquisition of virtues does not pertain to the body. So the effort toward achieving virtues is infinite and eternal. It is one of the blessings God has bestowed humanity.

Jerome eventually came to understand the true meaning of EXPECTATION. The greatest harm in the world often comes from people who have EXPECTATIONS; when the outcome they expected didn't materialize, they were resentful, angry or just plain stupid by imposing on others (or on situations) until what they expected would materialize. And this was the cause of Jerome's divorce! He lived in a make-believe sort of world without really being in touch with the reality of who he was. He simply fit the "role" of the person he was brought up to think he was and expected all sorts of external confirmations; reactions from others confirming that he was who he thought he was. What he didn't see was that he lived in a world of denial of who he really was and, thus, based his thoughts and actions on learned and expected behavior!

Jerome today is much older and much more mature than he was back when. He re-married and is absolutely grateful for his divorce, having realized that his previous relationship was not really based on choices that he, himself, had made -- they were choices made based on the way he was taught to think and behave!

Today Jerome has no regrets and has understood that all the pain he went through really served him good because it helped him build a foundation for understanding what the true essense of life is. Jerome knows today that he will continue to change in this life and that such change entails giving up the old for the new. He also knows that some degree of pain must inevitably accompany all change. But the one thing most appreciated by Jerome was that he had a different outlook on life. He now focussed on developping virtues, those qualities which make him human. He is no longer interested in looking handsome, of trying to impress others, in having a high social status, in being a CEO, in being financially well off with money in the bank to spare for a secure future. He is interested in none of these things. All he wants is to stay focussed on the virtues, come what may.





			by James Leonard-Amodeo

		One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth the trouble retrieving the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked in the well and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off! Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. The Story of Jerome Some years ago Jerome went through a difficult divorce. God! was it difficult! He had a great career, a comfortable home, was loved in his community, in brief, he was extremely happy in his marriage and felt he had found everything life had to offer. Suddenly his wife announced the terrible news that she wanted to leave him for another man. This blow was so difficult that Jerome thought of ending his life. There was nothing left to live for as far as he was concerned. What had he done wrong? Where did he go wrong? What was happening to him? He had no answers but many questions. Within the space of a few months he lost all desire to live. He abandoned his career, moved into a neighbouring town (so as not to see his wife with that other man), and generally became a passive individual without any trace of interest in anything whatsoever. Nothing friends said or did could appease or comfort Jerome. His parents had many a sleepless night worrying over him and kept him at home for his own safety. While there, he established bonds with his older brother, Tom. Tom and Jerome spent much time together but they didn't talk much. Jerome simply needed companionship and someone to share thoughts and feelings with. Tom knew he couldn't do anything for his brother because this was a personal inner crisis that belonged to his brother alone. The best Tom could do was to remind Jerome to be patient and live day by day, allowing the sun to rise and to set. Things would change in time, he said. Tom also knew he could not appropriate his brother's ordeal. It took Jerome four years to overcome his depression and to understand the meaninglessness that had so suddenly overwhelmed him. After this time, needless to say, Jerome was no longer the same man. He was a better man! The ordeal had completely changed him into another person. So much so that none of his old friends and acquaintences could relate to him when once he returned to the town where he had established his "previous" life. What had Jerome discovered that changed him so? Let Tom share with us some of his understanding: SUBMISSION & SURRENDER After about two years of coming down on himself and not quite understanding what was happening to his life, Jerome suddenly had an experience. While walking home one sunny day he suddenly heard a voice within which said, "resignation!" As he walked along he heard the voice again: "resignation!" He did not understand what the word meant. At home he took out a dictionary and looked up the meaning: "1. an act or instance of resigning something: SURRENDER. 2. "the quality or state of being resigned: SUBMISSIVENESS." When Tom met Jerome later on the morrow, Jerome wanted to talk about "resignation". Jerome admitted not understanding the implications of "resignation", and so, too, did Tom. Both brothers committed to spend the week thinking about the word and how it applied to Jerome's situation. The keywords retained from the dictionary definitions were, SURRENDER and SUBMISSIVENESS. Tom's questions were: SURRENDER what? and to whom? SUBMIT to what and to whom? In thinking of his own divorce years earlier, Tom was reminded that he had to GIVE UP a lot and learn how to be submissive. He had to give up what Jungian psychologists call the "persona" -- what one thinks he is or the image one holds of one's self -- and submit to the human reality that change often is very painful, especially when we are ATTACHED to something that must perish anyway (such as a relationship, for example). In the consultation between brothers it came out that the one thing Jerome feared most was change! He thought he knew who he was, what he wanted, how he would get whatever he wanted. He had a sort of roadmap of his life and great goals he wanted to achieve. But everything fell through when his wife left him. The pain, chagrin and sorrow he experienced after his divorce was beyond endurance and he didn't think he'd live through it. He felt rejected, unloved, unwanted. Of course, this wasn't the reality, but this is the way he felt at the time. Tom and Jerome talked more about RESIGNATION. Jerome was digging hard at trying to understand life from an angle other than that which his family and society had taught him. Time passed and "resignation" and "surrender" were gradually forgotten. But about 8 months later the brothers decided to look back at RESIGNATION again. Jerome said he had understood that by SURRENDER was meant that he had to give up all his acquired habits and ways of thinking, and to elevate his life's purpose above and beyond the physical plane. He said he had come to the realization that this life was, in fact, a temperal existence and that one day he would pass away, die, and what purpose was there in becoming the CEO of company Z with a handsome salary if all of it couldn't be taken with him when he died? Likewise, of what use becoming attached to emotions when you know that these could only be temporary (emotions certainly aren't eternal!)? Tom thought the "act or instance of resigning something" really meant to stop trying to control life and others and to just resign himself to the way things are, the way they work, and to attempt respecting others and events as they really were. If things don't go the way you want them to, he reasoned, if they don't work out the way you had planned, well, so be it. Accept it and resign yourself to it. Jerome was in a situation forced upon him. He had no control over his wife leaving him. The key to understanding lay in simply resigning himself to the fact, in accepting the reality and not trying to change it. There was wisdom in the situation and sooner or later he would discover what that wisdom was. MEANINGS To be SUBMISSIVE means to work doubly hard at improving the character, to let go of pretentiousness, affectation, arrogance, lies, and to simply face the truth of who and what you are and accepting it. In other words, to submit to the reality of who and what you really are today and working on improving the things you can improve, and letting go of the things that simply cannot be improved or changed. The problem is, however, that we do not have a clear-cut idea of who we, as individuals, truly are or what we ought to be. Are we a mass of skin and bones? Are we the psychological mass of accumulated behavior learned throughout our upbringing? These are upsetting but profound questions which DO HAVE ANSWERS. One answer to the question of who we are is this: we humans are physically made up of skin and bones, yes, but we are "humans" distinct from the animal; we have something more than the animal! And that thing is the capacity to acquire virtues or moral qualities. The animal, the vegetable, the mineral, do not have this capacity. So, yes, we are creatures with an animal nature, but we are also much higher than the creature in that we alone, of all created things, can develop virtues and polish our being to the degree where it becomes like a brilliant mirror reflecting goodness, compassion, understanding, tolerance, patience, and all virtues. Animals cannot develop virtues -- if they did, they would have developed their own civilizations! The pain comes, though, when we realize how difficult it really is to develop any one of the virtues potentially lieing dormant within us! To improve anything means there will have to be change. The process of CHANGE within the human character means there must be pain because we have to give up something to which we were attached for a long time. That is, the process of DETACHMENT from old and outworn habits of behaving and thinking is a painful process, and this process is called CHANGE. We have all heard the cliche, "change is inevitable." But we rarely hear the truth about such inevitability, which is: along with change comes inevitable pain, and if it weren't for that pain there would be no change! Change is growth only when there is pain, and when there is no pain that change is not beneficial but detrimental. For example, a seed is planted and changes into a shoot, and gradually into a mighty tree. This change is termed "growth" but before such "growth" could have occurred the seed had to give up (SURRENDER) something through the process of pain. In fact, the seed died in order to give birth to the shoot. We can say that the seed "sacrificed" its condition to give life to its true self. BEING HUMAN IS A PROCESS Being human is a process which entails the effort of planting the seed of virtue within our character, within our heart, and allowing it to germinate and to grow into a mighty stem. We must die to ourselves and be born again, as Christ adviced. But to do so requires that we give up our old habits and exert great efforts by accepting the pain that comes with such change. It was stated earlier that change is growth only when there is pain, and when there is no pain that change is not beneficial but detrimental. So, for example, the mighty tree that arose from the seed will eventually have to perish; it will either be cut down or be felled by natural causes like wind and rain. The process of falling and rotting is, of course, change. But what a difference between a tree that is rotting and one that is growing! The rotting tree is changing as it disintegrates but it need not make any effort since all effort is made by external agents acting upon it. The growing tree, on the other hand, MUST make efforts originating in itself. Nature teaches us that anything that grows does so through effort; and anything that dies or decays does so without effort. It is a law of nature that once a certain point of upward growth has been achieved, there must needs be a downward motion toward decay. This is evident in the human body that grows from childhood to adulthood and at a certain age the body begins its decline and finally must perish. But it is not so with the human capacity to acquire virtues. The acquisition of virtues does not pertain to the body. So the effort toward achieving virtues is infinite and eternal. It is one of the blessings God has bestowed humanity. EXPECTATIONS Jerome eventually came to understand the true meaning of EXPECTATION. The greatest harm in the world often comes from people who have EXPECTATIONS; when the outcome they expected didn't materialize, they were resentful, angry or just plain stupid by imposing on others (or on situations) until what they expected would materialize. And this was the cause of Jerome's divorce! He lived in a make-believe sort of world without really being in touch with the reality of who he was. He simply fit the "role" of the person he was brought up to think he was and expected all sorts of external confirmations; reactions from others confirming that he was who he thought he was. What he didn't see was that he lived in a world of denial of who he really was and, thus, based his thoughts and actions on learned and expected behavior! The lesson is clear: we have to surrender our own desires and wants and be submissive to our true nature -- a nature which is spiritual. Jerome today is much older and much more mature than he was back when. He re-married and is absolutely grateful for his divorce, having realized that his previous relationship was not really based on choices that he, himself, had made -- they were choices made based on the way he was taught to think and behave! VIRTUES Today Jerome has no regrets and has understood that all the pain he went through really served him good because it helped him build a foundation for understanding what the true essense of life is. Jerome knows today that he will continue to change in this life and that such change entails giving up the old for the new. He also knows that some degree of pain must inevitably accompany all change. But the one thing most appreciated by Jerome was that he had a different outlook on life. He now focussed on developping virtues, those qualities which make him human. He is no longer interested in looking handsome, of trying to impress others, in having a high social status, in being a CEO, in being financially well off with money in the bank to spare for a secure future. He is interested in none of these things. All he wants is to stay focussed on the virtues, come what may. Of all the goals one may have in life, none is more rewarding than to stay focussed on the virtues -- and there are so many of them! In this life we will eventually lose everything, including friends, family, parents, and material wealth. We get old and lose the body, too. But we will never lose that sense of happiness that comes with being genuine in our heart!